The Chuunin exam
by Sasuke1221
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto are going to take Chuunin exam alone without Sakura! How will that turn out?
1. Chapter 1  Before the Chuunin exam

I don't own Naruto or any of the characters Kishimoto has already created.

Naruto POV:

This blows! Why did I had to be in the Chuunin exam with only Sasuke-teme? Unfortunately Sakura-chan had to stay home, so Grandpa Hokage made an exception and made me come in with just Sasuke even though the rules said we had to be three on the squad, not two. Oh well. We just passed Kakashi-sensei who gave us his blessings. I was on fire and shouted:"Here we go!" We opened the door and stepped in. The whole room was filled of cranky people! They were even crankier than Sasuke! To make myself tougher and to show who's the boss, I yelled:

"Hi! How y'all doing? I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to beat all your stupid butts! Dattebayo!" That'll show them! Suddenly I felt something at my right. I trun my head to the right and see Sasuke with dark eyes coming towards me. Oh no! I knew I had stepped too far when I saw that face.

"Sasuke! Don't come near me!"

"Shut ut already and take it like a man." Sasuke cracked his fingers and I gulped. I throwed my hands every where and started to panic. I screamed and started to run, but Sasuke caught me by the neck. This was even worse than when Sakura-chan used to hit me. When Sasuke had enough, he used to (and still do) catch up to me, capture me, and then he would whisper things that would scare the hell outta me. Even though they weren't really frightning at all, I still got scared shitless. He stepped closer to me and I could feel his breath in my ear.

"Stop acting stupid dobe, or I will destroy every ramen stand in the world. And I will make you watch." That did it. It all went black.

Sasuke POV:

That dobe. Why did he never learn ? I noticed all the stares at us and decided to do something evil. I thought I could use Naruto as a seat or use his butt as a pillow for my feet. But since someone would tell Kakashi-sensei later, I decided to do something more nice. I layed him on the floor and stood behind him and pretended he wasn't there . More nicer indeed.

"Should you really be doing that?" I recognized that voice. It was Nara Shikamaru. He was the smartest, but also the laziest genin I knew. We never were in the same class, but I'm only interested in the ones who are as strong as me or stronger than me. He was not exactly stronger, but he was smarter for sure. "Naruto annoyed me too much. If I did nothing, the others would have done something far worse." Before I knew it, all the others from my class showed up. At least Yamanaka Ino, or 'Ino-pig' as Sakura called her, wasn't there.

"Sasuke-kun!" Or so I thought. I hated and still hate that sick sweet voice. She hugged me from behind, and I swore then if she wouldn't release me, I would stab her with a kunai where the sun never shone or maybe, depends on how innapropriate she liked to be. "I have missed you so much!" Then she looked around and said with a more normal voice (fortunately):"Where's forhead girl?" Someone stab me. Should I really answer? It wasn't any of my business, but Naruto was out, being poked in the butt by Kiba with a stick, so what choice did I really have? "Sakura couldn't come, so it's just me and dobe." Just like that, Naruto opened his eyes, jumped up as if he was burned and yelled in my face:

"Stop calling me dobe, teme!"

"Stop yelling in my face!"

"I can yell AS MUCH AS I WANT !" That did it! I jumped on him and attacked him with my bare fists. He was just hitting, using his rage. All the others around me got embarrased.

"Would you guys mind keeping your voice down?" I stopped punching Naruto, and looked up. If I knew this boy, I would have finished him the moment I saw him. I would atleast try. "Who are you?" The boy pinched up his glasses and said with a smirk:

" Yakushi Kabuto. I feel I should warn you. Most guys around her are very short tempered. Especially the guys from the Hidden Grass Village. I'm not short tempered at all, so its not my business, but just as a heads up." I could have sworn I heard the ninjas from the Grass village growl. I stood up and helped Naruto up.

"I'm sorry, but I don't recognize you from anywhere in the village here. Where in Hi no Kuni are you from?" I just had to ask, since he had a forehead protector with the sign of Konohagakura on and I had never seen him before.

"I'm not from the this village, but from another village not far from here. It's a small one, so I'm not surprised if you don't know of it."

"You're right. I don't." I narrowed my eyes and looked at him suspiciously. He looked at me innocently like he was complete honest. Somehow I found it hard to trust him. If you knew my past, you would never blame me. Naruto looked at him while scratching the back of his head.

Naruto POV:

I wasn't listening much of what they were talking about. I bet it was just boring stuff. That Kabuto guy looked okay, at least smart. Maybe he was smarter than Sakura-chan.

"How smart are you?" Kabuto loked at me like I just asked him the weirdest question. Come on! Was it that weird? It was a normal question like any other question.

"Errr...why do you ask?"

"Cuz Sakura-chan is smart and all, but you look smarter, so I was wondering." Kabuto shrugged.

"Smart enough, I guess." I was satisfied. I grinned and put my hands behind my head. Then I noticed some cards sticking out of his back pocket. I reached out for it, but since he moved a little, I missed and pinched his butt! He shrieked, and jumped.

"What are you doing?" He yelled. He got red in the face. He was actually more red in his face than Hinata was when I was too close. I quickly glanced at Sasuke and the others. They looked freaked! I waved my arms furiously and started to freak myself. "I didn't mean to! I swear?" I saw Kbuto getting more red in the face. Serioulsy, He was red like an angry tomato!

"What were you doing around there annyways?" He yelled. Sheesh! Stop yelling already! I was only a few feets away from him!

"Some cards was standing out of your pocket and I got curious!"

"Well, ask first!" He huffed and pinched up his glasses." Jeez, what have your parents taught you?" That made me flinch and made my stomach uneasy. I heard some growling behind me.

Sasuke POV:

That bastard! How dared he? How could he say such a thing to Naruto! If I were Naruto, I would've smothered him! Why was Naruto just standing there? Beat him already, I thought. I saw Naruto tighten his fist and saw he was ready to attack.

"You bastard!," Naruto said and lunged.

'PUFF'

A large man appeared out of nothing. He was tall, wearing a grey button down shirt and dress pants and a black cloak. He had his protector with the leaf symbol on his head. He had two scars across his face and he didn't look happy at all.

"What's going on here!," the large man said. Naruto took a deep breath and I was about to stop him, but it was too late.

"IpinchedKabutointhebutt-!" Facepalm. Enough said. The man looked at him.

"...What?"

"I said-"

"I know what you said, yo-"

"Then why did you ask?"

"Shut it!"

"No way-"

"Naruto !," I barked. He saw me and flinched. His mouth was shut as if he didn't want medicine.

"Thanks!," The man said to me gratefully and I nodded as a 'thank you'. He looked around and said clearly:

"Listen up! This is the Chuunin-exam, not a battlefield. If you guys are going to fight, you have to get permission from me or you're out! Now we're going to take the first part of the Chuunin exam in a room. Shut up, put your ass in gear and follow me!" I sighed as I watched Naruto walked suddenly wery serious. Why did I have a feeling about this?


	2. Sorry

Hi sorry I haven't been updating on the story recently. There are tests coming and all, and there are stuff and info I need for this story. I'm working on the next chapter and all, but I can't find the right time yet. Just bear with me.


	3. What?

I thought I could add a totally new character. Hope you like her :)

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><p>SASUKE POV:<p>

We followed the man pass restrooms to a big class room. There were notes on each seats. It was names on them. I found my spot two rows behind Naruto, two seats to the left. Naruto sat at the middle in the second row. That jerk Kabuto sat at my right! Just like that? Darn it. At my left a girl my age sat next to me. She was at my age, dark blond hair which had center separation, blue eyes, less pale than me, wearing a necklace with the leaf sybol and had a forehead protecter with the Water symbol on it. That kind off confused me. Was she from Hi no Kuni or from Mizu no Kuni? She was wearing a blue T-shirt and a grey poncho over it. She had a wide blue skirt which reached to her ankles and she also had earphones around her neck. She had the basic uniform besides the jacket, thank god. I couldn't see her shoes, but I saw she had two blue swords on each side tied to the belt. The halndle was dark blue with black and white tears. Why was I looking at her so much? It's not like she was anyone important. How wrong I was.

"Excuse me?" She widened her eyes and it looked like she was in her own thoughts. She looked at me.

"Are you from Hi no Kuni or Mizu no Kuni?"

"Mizu no Kuni. Why?"

"You were confusing me with that necklace and the forehead protector."

"Oh. (snort) I'm just a fan of Hi no Kuni. My father's from here." I nodded and just looked forward. The man from earlier stepped forward infront of us. I noticed Hagana Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo being there. I guess someone else was guarding the gate to the village now.

NORMAL POV:

"Ok, everyone. This is the Chuunin exam. You've all come here to become a Chuunin. This exam will be in three parts. This first part will be a writing test." The man took out a pile of paper sheets. Some men with the same clothing as the man came forward and delivered the sheets to the participants. "This test will content ten question. You will have 1 hour to answer them all. The tenth question will come at the end." He saw the girl who sat next to Sasuke raise up her hand.

"Why do we get the tenth question at the end ? Why not on the paper?," she asked shyly, but clear.

"It is the most important question of all."

"I'm going to fail.," the girl muttered and lowered her head.'Wow, she broke this fast?' Sasuke thought surprised. Sasuke deicded to try to encourage her. It wasn't really his business, but this exam was important to him and the last thing he needed was a sulking teenage girl.

"You don't know that for sure. At least try and you'll make it. And if you don't make it, there's always next year." She looked up and faced Sasuke. She smiled and sat straight up.

"I guess. I'm Kaze Kuma. You?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

" There are rules here, so stop your flirting and put your ears in gear! you start off with ten points. For every question you answer wrong, you lose one point. If the proctors catch you cheating, you'll lose two points."

'Okay, Naruto may not answer right on any question, but I'll manage it, so it'll be okay.,' Sasuke thought. Sasuke doubted part of the exam was in Naruto's league. Naruto wasn't a thinking type. He was a more I'll-beat-you-and-ask-later type.

"Also, if one of your teammates have no points left, the hole team will lose no matter how high the scores of the other two is." 'No!," Sasuke thought. He looked at Naruto. 'You better not fail at this Naruto!'

"Begin!" Everyone started. Sasuke looked at these questions and frown. ' This is hard. i can't remember I've been taught this at the academy!' Kuma looked at the questions and started to write some of them right away. Luckily, her motherside was good in math. She still had difficulties at the rest. Should she cheat? She couldn't ask the boy next to her for assistance, but if she tried to cheat, others would notice. So, now what? She widened her eyes and snapped. 'That's it!' She went down to open her bottle and drank water from it. She poured her chakra in to it and spitted it out on the floor. She knew some one was looking at her with suspicioun, some with disgust, but she didn't care. while writing with her right hand, she formed a sign with the other, and soon the water she spitted out began to increase and spread out.

NARUTO POV:

What was I supposed to do? I felt I was getting nowhere! I was so frustrated. I turned around and noticed Sasuke having no problem at all. I thought the that maybe he could help me! I ripped a piece of the test and throwed it at him. It hit him in the head and he looked up. I waved with my arms wild because...well, I was stressd. Suddenly he started to make signs:

"What is it, dobe?" I answered back:

"The test is too hard! Help me!"

"No way!" Then I got an idea.

"If you're too stupid to help, you could just say so."

"What? You idiot!"

"Says who?" then I saw sasuke getting really mad. The face was priceless.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I own you! I own you!"

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" I yelped and turned around. I yelled! It was the most scaring face I had ever seen. It was scar-face dude!

"Errr.. nothing?," I said and I hoped he would buy it. He narrowed his eyes and looked at me like I had stolen candy. Come on! He sighed and turned around.

"If you don't focus on the test right now, I'll fail you and your team."

"I was focusing!" He sent me a glare.

"Well, hide it better, then! Even a blind snail could see what was going on!"

"Errr, aren't they blind? Because then they can't see what I'm doing." His face darkened. What now? I tried to be logical here!

"Just finish that damn test already!" Then he flinched. He looked down. I noticed something too. It was water! All over the place. People started to yolt, jump, getting in panic. I saw a temple on scar-face dude's face! uh- oh.

"Everyone! Get out!"

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><p>I know I made the chapter short, but oh well.<p> 


	4. forrest of death

**Naruto POV:**

We all went out of the room because of a little water? Seriously? And how did it get in the room in the first place? Whatever. At least I can talk to Sasuke instead of making those signs.

"Listen every one! Untill we've searched in the room, trying to find a cause to this, every participants will stand 3 meters away from each other and any form of communication will lead to disqualification!" Bummer.

**Normal POV:**

In the room with the tests, a female rised up from the water as a mermaid after a sailman. She looked around and studied what every one had answered. She hoped her water clone ouside would hold. She had worked with her tecnique: Water style:Water birth. Looks like it worked. She needed to do this so she could work undisturbed with changing the results of the tests and the names. When the others would come back, many would be confused, maybe accuse each other and what would that proctor guy do then? Make them take the same test again? She hoped not. She swimmed from test to test, trying to decide which one she should swich and which one she should copy. She glanced at her own first. She needed four-five answers to make it. She looked at Sasuke's test. It was worse than hers! Then she got an idea! He helped her. Now she would help him! She wrote down the answers she had, knowing they were right. She copied Sasuke's handwriting, which wasn't hard. Suddenly she had a feeling between her legs. She yelled and jumped up. She looked around , but couldn't find the cuase as she panted heavily. Then she looked downwards and faced palmed herself. the ends of the swords had gotten between her legs! 'Are you kidding me?' she thought. She shook her head and continued to search again. This Tenten seemed smart. 'Wait...ten..ten? 1010? Seriously?' she copied her answers, however, and continued. Then she found a test with the name 'Hyuga Neji' on it. Neji... She almost bursted out laughing. After all, Neji meant 'screw'! She imagined a sexy guy walking on a bed, naked, with a lot of muscles, towards a woman on the other side of the bed. He got closer and then whispered in her ear, like a lover: "I'm going to neji you" 'Oh My God!' She could'nt hold it in anymore and laughed like she had never laughed before. "I'm going to neji you!," she laughed repeatedly.

Outside the door, the laugh wasn't unnoticed. Noone said anything, just had wide eyes and stared at Neji, who looked pale like sheets. Naruto fought hard to keep his mouth shut. "I'm going to neji you!" That did it. Naruto laughed. Hard. He fell on the floor, still laughing and hit the floor with his hands. A man approached him and Naruto screamed like a girl seeing a mouse. "Scary dude-face!" Ibiki looked sternly at him and had crossed his arms. The naked eye couldn't see the amused smirk on the proctor's face. Sasuke could, however. "Naruto, was it? Stand up, wash the damn grin off your face and shut up!" Naruto stood up on his feet without saying a word. Suddenly, the doors opened, and the water hit Ibiki so hard he crashed out the window, shrieking. He landed hard on the ground. With a growl, he stood up. The water made Ibiki's clothes shrink so much it ripped itself appart, leaving him naked. All the people around him almost died of nosebleeding. A tall man in the thirties, wet, totally naked and scars wasn't exactly a turn off. The other paricipants just shrugged and got in the room to finish the tests. When they sat down to finish the test, they were outraged! "Someone has wiped out my answers!," one genin said.

"Oi! What the heck!," said another one.'What's going on?' Sasuke thought. He looked at his own test and he almost gasped. This...this...couldn't be his test! This was better than it was before i left. A bam on the desk infront of the participants made them look towards it. "Look! Even though something has happened with the proctor Ibiki and the tests have been affected, you still have to finish them! You have fifteen minutes left to the tenth question!" Hagana Kotetsu said. The others flinched and sat down. Kamizuki Izumo walked up to him and whispered: "Kotetsu, what was the tenth question again?" Kotetsu's eyes widened. "I don't...know."

"Ibiki never told us! What are we going to do now?"

"We'll drop it. We can't make them do something we don't know what." Kotetsu cleared his throat and said:

"Listen, all participants! Because of some difficulties, there will be no tenth question. Only nine." "Yeah!," Naruto roared and jumped on his desk. That started it all. Most of the other participants started to dance off joy or just sighed of relief. Sasuke however, just sighed and finished the test. When the others were done, suddenly a ball crashed in the room, unfolded itself and a woman appeared. "Hi, I'm Anko and-" she said until she slipped on the wetfloor and fell unconscious. Kotetsu groaned.

"Let's just get to the forest of death already!"


	5. prettiest girl in the world!

The sun was down, and the fullmoon showed itself in the sky with the angle eyes called stars. Sasuke was dressed in the same kimono he wore at the disgusting dinner. He had to find Kakashi! He was about to open the door, but stopped. Would Orochimaru get angry if one kimono was gone? Surely not. If this guy had money to buy a kimono and silk, he could buy another one just as easy. He walked out of the room and went left. He didn't like walking around in an unfamiliar place. Hallway after hallway, was exactly the same. It was like a labyrinth. Was he lost? He hoped he wasn't. He went back to his room and went the other way. Once again he was at the window. Once again, the view was beautiful. It had darker colours now and the moon was so close he believed he could touch it. He knew he couldn't, but it felt like it. He shook his head. Time to focus! He considered using the sharingan, but decided against it. The sharingan could only see chakra, not see through walls like the byakugan. Even if he used the sharingan, it would cuase attention and he felt it wouldn't be fair for Sasukra.

"What are you doing here, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke's eye widened, and saw Kabuto in a robe with a flashlight.

"Kabuto? what are you doing here?"

"I come and go as I please. You, however, can not. Go back to your bedroom. Now."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. In fact, I'm not going anywhere besides out of here if you choose to help me." Kabuto's flash light was truned off ,and he crossed his arms.

"Why should I help you?"

"Why not?" Sasuke shrugged. "You started to dislike me from the start, didn't you? Up in the trees, by the dinner, in my head and now. If you help me out of this place, you will never see me again and I'll be on my way. Everybody wins."

"Sorry, but I can't. Even though it's very tempting, Orochimaru-sama did not bring you here so you could caome and go as you wished. Besides, there are others I would prefer so I won't see you again." Kabuto raised a kunai and looked as serious as a man could be. 'Sharingan!' Two sharingans showed itself bright red with three tears; two on the left, one on the right.

"Bring it on!" At once, Kabuto was gone and appeared behind Sasuke. Sasuke, however, saw this coming, and almost stabbed him in the stomach. Kabuto blocked the attack and aimed a fist. Sasuke jumped backwards, took up one of his kunais and lunged. They both used their kunais like knights use swords in duells. Sasuke had sharingan to see Kabuto's attacks before they happened and Kabuto used taijutsu and was very fast. Their kunais meetings was loud and knifecutting. Kabuto gave Sasuke a scar on the cheek Sasuke almost got his throat. After a while they both stood on the ground, panting. Sasuke was sweating and had to take away the sharingan. Kabuto smirked and pinned Sasuke to the floor.

"Get off me!"

"Don't think so." Sasuke used all his strength, waved his arms and kicked, but Kabuto had a tight and strong grip. Kabuto took his kunai near Sasuke's throat.

"Don't!"

"Why not?"

"Let go of Sasuke-kun at once!," an angry voice snakes appeared, separated the two ninjas. They both got wrapped and pinned to the wall by the snakes. orochimaru appeared with an angry glare. The glare clearly said 'Don't speak before I say so, or you'll pay!'

"Kabuto, I accept your envy or jealousy, but I don't accept trying to assasinate the one who's precious to me" 'Precious?' Sasuke thought. 'Am I precious to him?'

"My apologies, Orochimaru-sama, but he wanted to leave. What was I supposed to do?"

"Clearly not what you just did!" Orochimaru sent his glare towards Sasuke, but the glare was more calm, and Sasuke noticed it, but tried to hide it.

"Stay." Orochimaru said calm, but determined.

"I'm not a dog, but fine! I'll stay." 'For now.' he thought. Orochimaru sighed.

"


	6. Smurfs and trust in me

Naruto POV:

It was the biggest forest I had ever seen, dattebayo! I felt like one of those blue little guys. what was it, again? Oh, right! the smurfs! I guess I would be Jokey Smurf and Sasuke would be...er...Grouchy Smurf. When I thought of it, it fit like a hand in a glove! I would be Jokey smurf because I did pranks and joke around and stuff. Sasuke would be Grouchy smurf because he often wore a scowl on his face, and I'm sure he was going to say something about something he hated soon. I wondered if he had a soft spot for babies.

"Naruto!"

"Wha-" BAM! too late. I crashed in a tree. Yes, i got hit in the face. Yes, I fell down on my butt. If anyone sings George of the jungle right now, I'll snap! Sasuke walked over to me.

"Are you alright, dobe?"

"Stop calling me dobe, Grouchy Smurf!" I yelled. Wait. Shit! I covered my mouth and said nothing. Sasuke looked at me, freaked and said nothing.

"...What? Grouchy Smurf?"

"...Er, yeah?" I said and scratched my head in the back and laughed nervously. Sasuke crossed his arms and had a stern look.

"Naruto, that was so random it wasn't even funny!"

"Come on! You would fit him so much! Being the cool one, but never looks happy!" Suddenly he widened his eyes. He looked like as if a lightbulb beamed over his head. Then he smirked. Crap.

"At lest I don't look like Jokey Smurf, the smurf no one takes seriously."

"Hey!" I jumped up and stood before him. Then I thought of something and giggled.

"What is it now?"

"Can you imagine which smurf Sakura would be like?" Sasuke looked puzzled, then snorted and jumped up to the trees. He looked back over the shoulder and said: "She would obviously be Smurfette." I jumped up to him and we jumped along.

"Maybe, but she's smart and all, so I think Brainy Smurf would fit her also." Sasuke looked like he was thinking. wow! I think I actually gave him sort of a task or something.

"True. So what would she be? a Brainy Smurfette?" I laughed of the thought, and I... Sasuke smirked! yay!

Sasuke POV:

heh, Brainy Smurfette. Fitting. I just felt like smiling now or something, because this felt so...epic? If that's the word? I mean, we were in the forest of DEATH, jumping from tree to tree, searching for other scrolls, a high number of other ninjas in the same closed erea as us and here we were talking about smurfs. Yes, I thought epic would be the word. At lest weird.

Shooking my head, I tried to think more logic. About the exam, I mean. We had the heaven scroll in my back pocket, we had five days to take another one's scroll and to make it to the tower, we had no water, no food nor shelter. Maybe it wouldn't be so good to have a shelter, since we will always be prepared to move around and we can't have a place which says ' come here! here we are!' I sighed. What should we do?I shook my head and made a signal to Naruto for going down. We landed ona grass field with plenty of trees around. Anyone could hide out here. "What is it, tebayo?," Naruto ask.

"Since we're going to be here for five days, maximum, we need to get some supplies and know our area. I'm not precisely sure, but I think we should split up."

"yeah, that sounds good." Naruto said and was getting ready to leave, but I held him back. "However," I said,"We can't just leave each other like that. We need a password so we can recognize each other."

"A password?"

"Yes."

"How about our own names backwards?"

"No."

"Hmm," Naruto said and scratched his head,"how about the tree kinds of jutsu?"

"No, that's too easy.," I said and sat down, but yelped as I felt something poking my behind. Turning around I saw it was a bambus pipe. A little suspious bambus pipe. With a hole in it. I got an idea. Oh, it was good.

"Sasuke what are you doing?," Naruto asked, puzzled, as I grabbed a hand of dirt. Oh, just watch me, I thought. I put my hands over the pipe and blew it in, hard. Yep, I was right. There was someone listening. How did I figure it out? Well, bambus pipes may be small, but they certainly doesn't have a whole, I think, and no one is supposed to cough up dirt. Busted.

"What si that?"

"A stalker, Jokey Smurf." We looked at each other and after a while, nodded.

"See you here in one hour!" I said and took off. Looks like we found a password!

Naruto POV:

Yay! We have a passwords. Whe we meet, we're going to greet each other, but instead saying Sasuke or Naruto, I'll call Sasuke Grouchy smurf and he'll call me Jokey Smurf. It felt good that I was the one who started the whole Smurf thing. I'm glade he approved.

I saw many trees around, nothing special and suddenly I felt like going to the bathroom or something. I could use that bush over there. I jumped down and started to write my name, but suddenly I felt something. Behind me. I turn- Shit! I jumped up, dodging the kunais. I ran up a tree and turned. Some other ninjas. What the hell? I jumped down and ran over to them "Hey!," I yelled, "What's the big idea?" It was tree genins fro the Hidden Rain! They looked ridiculous! They had white jumpsuites with black crosses. I jumped and cracked my fingers. It's on!

Sasuke POV:

I hoped it was a good desicion, splitting up like that. I thought I could find some fruit. I found trees with fruits, but I was always chasen away by monkeys (seriously, I hate monkeys), big cats and some ninjas from other countries who didn't know the term 'sharing'. I decided to rest under a tree, resting a bit. Suddenly, an end of a snake coiled around my waist and under my feet! What the hell! It's thick, and it was hard to get loose. It pulled me up the big branches. My curiosity got the best of me and I let the snake pull me up. When I was up on the big branch, the snake let go and it slided away. I said nothing and stood up. Suddenly I heard a melody! A panpipe? The melody...I liked the sound, but where was it coming from? It sounded so familiar, from a movie or something. I felt like moving my hips with it. I felt heavy and leaned towards the tree, feeling helpless, but also in bliss. Was this genjutsu? My head was spinning, my heart was beating like mad and suddenly when the melody hit the bases, it felt like some one was humming while deep throating my lower. It felt strange and good. Did I hear drums?

"Trust in me, just in me

close your eyes," I did" and trust in me.

You can sleep, safe and sound

Knowing I am around."

I felt like I was going away to neverland and was going to sleep. Strangely, I didn't mind.

"Slip into a silent slumber

sail on a silver mist

slowly and surely your senses

will cease to exist"

I felt so at peace and felt like smiling. "You're adorable, Sasuke-kun," a hissing, snake like voice said in a seductive purr. "mmm, thanks," I muttered, my eyes closed.

"trust in me ,and just in me" I felt arms embarce me and my self giving up.

"Close your eyes and trust in me."

Everything went blank.


	7. The snake king

Sasuke POV:

Aww, why did the music stop? it was good. The song was the last thing I remembered. I didn't see who played it, though. I didn't know where I was, at first. I just knew I liket it. It was black and dark and peaceful. I heard hissing. From snakes. I heard it all around me. What was going on? I heard voices, but I didn't hear them clearly. "Do you, Sasuke Uchiha?" I heard. What? Am I doing something? "Trust in me." I heard someone hum in my ear. Just like that, I relaxed more. It felt like the song was playing again. "Do you?" I heard again. I shrugged and said:" Sure." Even though I had no clue why. I felt so dizzy and everyting was so dark. I couldn't see a thing. I started to feel alright, but at the same time I knew something was wrong. " By the power I represent, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Ye- WHAT! Suddenly a pair of lips met mine! OMG! I couldn't tell what to feel about it. I was too freaked out! I was too freaked out to react when some white, pale guy with purple marking around his golden snake-like eyes lunched me over his shoulder and carried me away. He was the weirdest guy I've ever seen! He was moving with a great speed and when he was jumping from tree to tree, I was captured in strong coils. I'm not joking. It was Coils. I thought the guy was a human? No matter. I wriggled to get close to the coils and bit hard. An angered and painful hiss was heard. I moved my body and jumped out of reach. I landed on a tree branch and the capturer a few trees away from me. He looked seriously weird...but when I looked closer on him, he reminded me of someone. Voldemort. Don't believe me? Okay, picture this: Voldemort. Put on him a raven black haired wig, golden eyes, purple markings around his eyes, a pointy nose and a beige and black dress with a purple bow around his waist. You see it now? Thank god. Or maybe it looked like Voldemort taking a makeover and he's like :"Wow! OMG! I look so evil. Whadya think, death eaters of mine?" and everyone would say :" Yeah! Totally cool! Amazing! So handsome" but thinking:"Is this the best he can do? Ouch." Yep, I liked that one better.

"Who the hell are you?" I said and got into a fighting position, but as I moved, I noticed something strange about myself. I looked down an-...Oh. My. God! I was wearing a dress! A long blue, fake fur dress with snake pattern. Seriously? "I am," I heard and my attention was drawn to my...husband. ugh, almost puked, "Orochimaru, the snake king." Orochimaru...I thought I've heard the name before. Not the snake king- thing though. "Why am I in a dress?" My...husband licked his lips and looked at me up and down. "Why, every bride must wear a dress. I picked this one especially for you because you are beautiful. No, beautiful would be an understatement."

"I'm not married to you!"

"Yes, you are. You said yes to the priest."

"You hypnotized me with that melody, spun me around your little finger! You forced me!"

"I wouldn't use such a strong word. I would say _encouraged_."

"Encouraged, my ass!"

"Yes, your ass is fine. Those cheeks are very attractive." I gulped and reached for my kunais...only to find they weren't there. Then, suddenly a lightbulb went on over my head! I made a seal and said:"Henge!" "Poof" and suddenly, not unexpected, I was a girl in the same height, long, raven hair, the same dress and the sharingan eyes. Yes, I thought. If he had a nose bleed so much he would faint, I could take that as a que to lea- " Such horribleness!"...Come again? The guy was hiding his eyes and screaming. I looked down on my jutsu. Didn't I look nice? At all? "You're the worst husband ever!" I shouted and took off. I had no idea why I said that, but I was just married, and here I heard that I was ugly! I have never... I sighed and tried to clear my head. I had to find Naruto, no, Jokey Smurf and fast. We needed to cooperate. That, and I felt a breeze under the dress... and I can't say I felt I had any panties on.

Up ahead, I heard my...husband called out to me. Yikes. Wait...Could it be? Shit!He stole my virginity! That bastard! Yes, I saw Jok- I mean, **Naruto**. That's what I said. That dobe was in trouble again. I jumped down next to him.

"Hey teme, what took-...Sasuke? why are you wearing a dress?" Wow. The most intelligent question I've heard from him all day. The three opponents saw me and guess what? They laughed! They laughed so much I bet anyone could hear them. I was so embarrased you had no idea. I knocked them unconscious and stole their scrolls. Just what we needed. I grabbed Na- Joke- N- Whatever! I grabbed **him** and jumped away. Kami help us.

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><p>AN: Finally finished! This took me a while to write and I'm sorry because it's short, but I lost some ideas in the process. At least I tried :) Review please? I appreciate more ideas for the next chapter.


	8. Hush little ba Sasuke

Nauto POV:

You would not believe this! Sasuke wore a dress! Not kidding. It was blue, fake fur with snake pattern. He just came out of nowhere and I think I saw something under his dress. I'm not sure it was underwear. I was laughing while Sas- no, Grouchy Smurf dragged me off, jumping from tree to tree.

"What's with the dress, Grouchy?" I snickered. Oh God! This moment is something I wont forget for a good time.

"Shut up, you! It's none of your business."

"We're comrades and in the same exam, so you have to tell me!"Sasuke sighed. Hooray! He stopped by a tree and looked me sternly in the eyes.

"I was ,BY FORCE, married to Orochimaru, the snake king." Silence. I tried so hard not to laugh.

"How on earth did that happen?" I laughed, almost.

"I don't know. In one moment I was sitting under a tree, the next a snake grabs me and pull me up a tree and in the last, I hear a melody that makes me sleep. Then I wake up in the dress and answer 'I do' because...I don't know. Suddenly I'm married!"

"What kind of melody?" I asked. I've heard alot of melodies and, maybe I've heard it before. It sounded like a lullaby.

hush little ba- Sasuke

don't say a word

papa's gonna marry

you away to another guy.

That would be so funny! Seriously!

"Well, it sounded like this:" Sasuke said and started to sing.

"Trust in me, just in me

close your eyes, and trust in me.

You can sleep, safe and sound

Knowing I am around."

"Slip into a silent slumber

sail on a silver mist

slowly and surely your senses

will cease to exist

trust in me ,and just in me

Close your eyes and trust in me."

Sasuke POV:

I sang, almost whispered, the song my...husband had sung to me ,and guess what? Naruto went asleep! That stupid, idiotic dobe slept! It must be a very powerful jutsu or it was just Naruto. Now I know how Jigglypuff felt when he sang. Me looking like Jigglypuff...scary thought. Just scary. "Aaw, Sasuke-kun. You sang our song." YIKES! I jumped and turned around and was ready to hit him in the head, but my husband dogded it and got even closer to me. "Now, now, That's not how you treat your beloved. Are you coming to the night of your life or do I have to drag you?" I swallowed, nervously. What to do? He was fast, so I couldn't run away and I couldn't leave Naruto behind. I went up to my husband and said, simply: "Get lost. I have no interest in you." Did he obey? No. Of course not. He just smirked and leaned towards me and asked:" And what would you do if I didn't leave, Sasuke-kun?"

"I would put on a chastity belt!"

"What? You wouldn't dare." I looked him straight in the eyes. "You think so? You really think so?" Silence filled the space around us and suddenly he bit me in the neck! I fell down on the branch and felt the enourmous pain in my body. It was killing me! "Fine I'll leave, but I got you a present so everyone knows you belong to me and me only." That was the last thing I heard before meeting the darkness once again.

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><p>"Grouchy Smurf! Grouchy Smurf! Wake up!" Naruto? I thought I heard him, but why was he calling me...oh, right. I opened my eyes to find Jokey, shaking me awake. "Naru- Jokey?" Holy Crap? It was Jokey Smurf. Seriously! With blue skin, white shoes, hat and pants. Even the same nose! He had whiskers like Naruto had, but still! He looked at me and said :"Yeah, you're awake! Wanna smurf with me?" I blinked. What? I stood up and tried to think logical about this. This had to be a dream. That could not be Jokey from the Smurfs. No way. "I'm sorry. What did you say?" Jokey laughed and just said:" You wanna smurf with me?"<p>

"Er, no thanks. Where am I?"

"Why, just outside of the Smurf village."

"I hate outside." I muttered. Great, now I talk like Grouchy. I hate- stop it!

"Hey, here's a gift for you." Jokey said and gave me a present. A yellow box with a red ribbon. There was something familiar with that present. "BANG!" It was a freaking bomb! That's it. I chased Jokey all around in the Smurf world. On the way I think I saw Dreamy Smurf with a high ponytail. He looked like Shikamaru. Later I think I saw Smurfette! With pink hair and not blonde! That's settled. Sakura would be a Smurfette. Jokey Smurf ran left and I followed. Suddenly he ran right past me. What the...? I looked up. Gargamel. Just like I remembered him. I made the signs for Katon: Gokayou no jutsu, but it didn't work. I looked down on myself. I almost cried. I looked like Grochy Smurf with black hair! I ran with the others and tripped on a rock. It all went black.

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><p>"Sasuke teme! Sasuke teme!" Now that has to be Naruto. I opened my eyes and there he was. My blonde, tan, blue eyed, strong comrade of a usuratonkachi.<p>

"Naruto." He blinked, looking at me. "Sasuke. You're awake?" I stood up and streched a bit.

"Yeah. What happened?" Naruto shrugged and stood up. "I don't know. You sang that song and suddenly, I was asleep. When I woke up, we were at the same place. You've been asleep with a fever and looked ill, but don't worry! I was here for you!" I admitted I was moved by what Naruto was willing to do for me. Take care of me and all. "But Sasuke, what is that mark on your shoulder?" I didn't want to talk to him about it, but he took care of me, so I owned him such. "It was the snake king who bit me. He wanted to have my virginity, but I rejected him, so he bit me." Naruto looked at me seriously. "You did the right ting, Sasuke. Something precious as that can't be taken away at all times. Especially if you don't want it. As for him..." I felt Naruto's anger rising. I touched his shoulder, calming him down. "Naruto, let's just go." He grinned and we went.

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><p>AN: Okay, the chapter nr. 5: Ignore it. It's from a complete different story. I would like to replace it, but I can't find the real one. Sorry. I don't know what happened to it.

I hope you guys like the chapter and all the Smurf things. Can you guys let me know if you want more Smurf stuff? That would be great.


	9. MA'AM!

Normal POV:

The two boys were walking towards the tower in the middle of the forest of death. Sasuke had cut the dress and sewed the skirt in two so it looked like a one piece. Sasuke really did not like such clothing, since he meant those were for babies and immature teenagers, but since he now almost wore one, he kept his opinions to himself. They had the heaven scroll and the earth scroll, so they had what they needed. This was their fourth day and they were exhausted. They had managed to find food and water along the way and the sleeping was... manageable, that was not the case. What happened to be the case, was the definition of the word: ninja. They had met so many enemies Naruto had lost count. They met fights from a peeing Akamaru, which happened to be a puppy, to genins from their own village! They had been walking for hours, and felt like they were getting nowhere. At some time ago, Naruto had killed an enourmous bug, crawling down a tree. The bug had a certain liking in Sasuke's outfit. That's what motivated Sasuke to change the outfit to what it was now. What was even worse for the Uchiha, was that he didn't have any shoes and according to the insane snake king, this was technically his honeymoon. There he was: walking around in a dangerous forest at night with no shoes and a dress in his honeymoon.

"Naruto, you don't happen to have an extra pair of shoes, do you?" Sasuke asked while sitting on a ground. He could lean against a tree, but the bug incident was too clear in his mind. Naruto stopped and put his bagpack down. He opened it, and searched through it. He looked up and said: "Sorry, Sasuke. I don't have any." Naruto said while shaking his head. Sasuke sighed and drank some water from his water bottle. "Do you need shoes, Sasuke?"

"Yeah. The snake king must've taken them away from me."

"Can I take a look at your feet?

"Why do you want to do that?"

"If you've walked around in this forest for so long shoeless, then they must hurt." Sasuke thought that made sense. He sat up and went over to Naruto. Naruto was sitting on one of his knees and took one of Sasuke's feet on his knee. It was red and sore and had some wound. The other foot wasn't any better. Naruto rised up and without asking, grabbed Sasuke by the waist and carried him over the shoulder. "What the hell! Put me down!" Sasuke demanded or ordered. "Look, Sasuke. You can't walk around with feet like that and there's no shoes for you, so I'll be carrying you." "But I'm fine, Naruto." Bam! Naruto slammed Sasuke on the feet on the ground. Sasuke yelled, big time. That's all it took for Naruto to keep carrying him around. "Can I at least have a kunai or a shuriken? I'm feeling like a girl. A helpless one at that." Naruto saw no reason to why he shouldn't do that, and if he did, maybe they wouldn't seem so vulnerable, so he gave Sasuke two kunais. Sasuke thanked him and had a sense of guilt. Him and his pride. There was nothing he could do. It was his nature. Naruto knew Sasuke was being himself and all, but still wished for some gratitude. Then again, he would too be pissed if he would walk around bare foot in a forest with dangers in every turn.

After a while, Naruto was getting tired of carrying him around and Sasuke was tired of being carried around allthough it was a nice intention. Suddenly, at the corner of his eye, he saw a big, hideous bug! "BUG!" Sasuke yelled and held onto Naruto for life. Naruto was caught of guard and fell on the ground. He rised up in superspeed and looked wildly around. "Where is it! Where is it!" "There!" Sasuke said and pointed at the bug. Naruto went to it. He paled and said: "Sasuke, that's the same bug we killed some time ago." Sasuke looked at the bug more closely. Yes, that was the bug! 'Genjutsu!' he tought and released them. Then they heard laughter. Dark laughter. Then suddenly, hundreds of men with white suits and black crosses, fluffy hair to the side and forehead protectors which had the hidden Rain sign on it, jumped from the trees and sorounded the teens.

"Oh god! Now what!" Naruto said, clearly frustrated. "We're going to kill you, brats...no, brat. My apologies, ma'am." One of the ninjas said first rudely, but switched to polite when he saw Sasuke in the outfit. "MA'AM!" Sasuke yelled and kicked his legs and locked himself free from Naruto's grip. He hissed when he touched the ground, but tried to not let it show. He went over to the ninjas with threatening eyes. The ninjas looked at each other nervously. "Which one of you jerks called me ma'am!" None of them said anything and that made Sasuke even madder. He activated his Sharingan. "Tell me." None of them said anything, of fear. Sadly, Sasuke didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear', so he got even madder. "Err, Um..miss, I-I call- called you ma'am." Sasuke found the voice which belong to one of the men in the back. "Come here. Now!" The owner of the voice stepped forward and met Sasuke's cold eyes. "Now, why do you think you have the right to call me ma'am? or miss?" The ninja scratched the back of his head. "Well, the snake king have spread the word, saying you two were married. So, no one dares to be mean to you...sir." Sasuke grabbed the man in the neck and pulled the man down to his eye level. "Listen, you scum, I'm a guy and a pissed one at that. If you mess with me, I'll complain to my...husband, and he'll kill you so slowly you'd scream for mercy." "Yes sir." Sasuke secretly liked this power. "Anything else, sir?" Sasuke didn't have to think this over." Shoes." A pair of shoes was put on him immediately. "Thanks." "Look, I don't mind you being in charge and having luxury, your **high**ness, but can I fight soon already!" Naruto said, annoyed. Sasuke was going to shout at him, but got an idea. An evil one. "Don't you dare insult me! Men, dispose of the brat!" "yes sir!" All the men charged forward to Naruto. Naruto ran and decided to hit with a right, but he went straight through! He was so sure he made a hit! He tried with another man, but the outcome was the same. What Sasuke saw, that Naruto didn't, was that all those men were infact just mere clones. Suddenly Naruto got a kunai in his arm! Where did that one come from? Sasuke could not see where it came from. Naruto just attacked without planing anyting. He just wanted to fight! Why couldn't he hit them? Could it be...they were not real? It was possible, right? In that case, where were the real one? Above? No. The sides? nope. Then maybe... He made some shadow clones and made them hit the ground, so the ground cracked. the ground shook and cracked and up from the broken pieces, there was a man who looked precisely like the ones on the ground. "Yeah! Wait...you're the guy from the first day!" Naruto hit himself in the forehead. How could he be so stupid to not realize it earlier? "Earlier? What do you mean ?" Sasuke said and went over to him. "When we split up, I met those guys and fought them, but I thought it was over." Sasuke touched his shoulder and said: "It's never over. It's never over." Naruto looked at him strangely. "Why are you repeating yourself?" "I have no idea." Sasuke said and looked somewhere random. "I have no idea." Suddenly two men in the same outfit came out of the blue. They looked at their comrade, outraged: "You killed Oboro!You'll pay for this!" in perfect unison. They lunged at the teens, ready to strike. "Nants ingonyama baghiti Baba" They suddenly heard, and Kabuto came flying, knocking off the enemies and kept flying while wearing a loincloth. "Nants ingonyama baghiti Baba" was the last thing they heard before being hit by a tree, meeting rocks, mud, rolling down countless meters and fell down in front of a snake with the size of Godzilla.

"You think he was on caffeine?" Naruto said, still shocked by the randomness.

"...Nah." Sasuke said and before they knew it, they came to the tower.

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><p>AN: It took me a while writing this, but I think it turned out nicely. About the Kabuto-incident, I just wanted something random and the singing was from the first lines of circle of life from the Lion king. Please review :)


	10. quite flirtatious

Normal POV:

They were finally at the tower and all the genins were there, pluss the senseis, Anbu black obs, the proctors and the hokage. This was Sasuke's worst moment. He felt som glares on him, but if it was about him as person or the outfit, he couldn't tell, but bet on the last one. He could see his sensei and Gai sensei talking. He wondered what they were talking about, but didn't dare to ask. It wasn't about him.

The big, really big room, was grey and in front of him, there was a three-step stair and then a large statue of two hands, making the seal 'Ram'. Between the genins and the statue, stood the jounins who represented the genins, the proctors, the Anbu black obs( is that how you write the last word?) and the highest of them all, The hokage. Among the jounins, who stood proudly, there was the snake king in disguise as a jounin from the Sound. If you hadn't seen him before, you would never react like Sasuke did. When he noticed the snake king, his first thought was:Hell no! The 'jounin' was tall, normal skin colour, long, black hair in a high ponytail, a sound forehead protector, and a sound jounin vest. How could Sasuke see it was the snake king? Because even though he looked different and the purple markigs wasn't there, the shape of his face was still there, the same eyes were there too and he still had the same, unforgettable smile. Sasuke gulped. What now, he thought. There eyes met. Golden treasure like eyes, belonging to a hunter, and ash black eyes belonging to the lonely child. The snake king licked his lips and Sasuke used all of his will power to not look away. Naruto nugded him in the shoulder. "Are you alright?" Sasuke looked at Naruto and shrugged. "I thought I saw someone familiar. Propably nothing." Naruto shrugged and kept looking forward. Soon the hokage spoke up to talk, but Sasuke wasn't listening, because he was too focused on the fact that the snake king was in the room and the curse mark hurt. Naruto was thinking no such thing. He was thinking more at the lines of 'How will I eat my miso ramen the best way?' or 'I wonder what's the first thing I'll do as an hokage.' A cough brought them out of their thoughts. It was their hokage, seaking for attention. "NOw as I have given you the information needed, we can start the preliminary matches." A big screen on the wall behind the statue started working and it showned two names: Uchiha Sasuke vs. Akado Yoroi. Sasuke groaned. This was not his day. Oh well. The others went to the grandstands, but Kakashi stopped by him."You didn't listen a bit, did you?" Sasuke shook his head. "Care to tell me why?" Sasuke bit his lip. Should he tell? It wasn't really the sensei's business, but maybe the sensei knew what he should do? "I have a feeling I'm being stalked." It was kind of true; he just didn't tell it more precisely or more about it. "Who?" It wasn't a question, more like an order. "Orochimaru, the snake king." Something changed in Kakashi's eyes. It turned from angry, consentrated to...softness. "Oh yeah, him. He's quite flirtatious." Sasuke's eyes went big as plates, to put it mildly. He didn't want to know how his sensei knew that. He really didn't. Kakashi shook his head, as if he were under a trance and said: "I'll be on watch. Oh, and don't use the sharingan." he said and took off. Right after that, he heard a big huff behind him, like a bull. Sasuke turned around and fought hard not to gasp. _Houston, we have a problem..._ he thought as he met his opponent. He looked like Kabuto! There were differences, though. This guy didn't look good in the outfit and he had black glasses. His head was covered like Ibiki with a cloth in front of the nose and the mouth. This Yoroi was waaay bigger in size. He thought the whole outfit with the accessories made him look like an arabian thief or like one of those bellydancers...if he dropped the cloth in the waist. Sasuke looked at him up and down. Yep, the bandit. "Ready to fight, pipsqeak?" the opponent asked and crossed his arms. Now he looked more like a genie. Sasuke didn't like the cockyness. where was the piko piko hammer when he needed it? "sure.," Sasuke said, and shrugged. the game was on.

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><p>AN: I know, I know it's really short. But i did it for you guys, so you could have something more to read! I haven't been updating lately because of fame and school (sigh).Next chapter will be longer, promise.


	11. the preliminary matches part 1

There they stood before each other. Yoroi and Sasuke. " Are there any reason why any of you should not compete against eachother?" Both of them shook their heads. "Well then," the proctor said and coughed,"Uchiha Sasuke vs. Akado Yoroi. Begin." Yoroi made his hands glow of chakra and charged. Sasuke pulled out some kunais and charged. He tried to stab Yoroi, but Yoroi quickly jumped aside and shot out his left hand to Sasuke's face. Sasuke wasn't dumb and dogded it. He turned around and was going to stab Yoroi in the stomach, but unfortunately, for Yoroi's part, he freaked and jumped, making Sasuke stab Yoroi's abdomen. Yori screamed like a female opera singer! He was trying to run around and scream his voice out, but Sasuke was too shocked to move, so no one pulled out the kunai, so they stayed there. Sasuke tried to pull himself together, but it was hard. Sure, he had experienced his brother kill his entire clan, been so scared he considered taking his own life, but this... nothing like it. He stood up, let go of the kunai and took some step backwards. "DON'T YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME HERE, DAMN BRAT!" Yoroi shouted, still with the voice of a opera singer. Unfortunately, that voice only made Sasuke more scared and furious. Opera was never his things. Especially since he heard his mother sing opera when she and his father was...having fun. He wanted Yoroi to stop singing immediately, so he went to Yoroi and pushed him harshly on the back on the ground. He bent down and sat on Yoroi's stomach, making sure Yoroi wasn't going anywhere. He pulled down the zipper and pulled out Yoroi's 'sausage' to see the damages. Oh hell no!, Sasuke thought. Have you ever seen a split tongue? This was just like it. Sasuke almost puked and cut it off. Yoroi made a final scream and died of pain. Sasuke ran like hell was on his way.

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><p>Aburame Shino stood before Abumi Zakuwho had his two arms in bandages. Abumi knew he was in a lot of pain, be was sure he could defeat the creepy brat. Shino could not, just could NOT lose. why? because he had his pride. He loathed to lose to any one. " Abumi Zaku vs. Aburame Shino. Begin." the proctor said while coughing. Shino lifted up his arms, pointing at Zaku and out of the arms, flying beetles and crawling beetles came out. "What the hell! Where did those come from!" They came towards Abumi and sorrounded him. "The beetles came out of me. They-"<br>"Holy shit! From your body!"  
>"...Yes, they do whatever I want as long as they will eat my chakra, and-"<br>"So, they eat your chakra and you make them do whatever you want?"  
>"Yes, that's what I-"<br>"They eat your...chakra...and you make them do whatever you...want?"  
>"Yes, now if we can fight-"<br>"Sorry, I'm out. I don't deal with perverts."  
>"...WHAT?" the flying beetles made sounds; threatening sounds. They flew towards Zaku in a razing speed. Abumi smirked ,and took his hands out of the bandages. He stood in the same position as Shino, and concetrated chakra in his arms, ready to fire. His arms blew off and blood was spraying all over the place. Zaku screamed, like a man while spitting. "Your arms blew up. Why? Because my beetles on the ground went forward and covered those plugs in your arms. The chakra couldn't get out, and it wouldn't get back in, so it blew up. Too much pressure, I guess. Why do I guess? Because-"<br>"Oh, shut up, fucking beetle freak!" A silence filled the room. An angry silence."...eat him!" The beetles from above and on the ground ran and flew and ate the wounded shinobi. The only thing left of him was the clothes and the forehead protector.

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><p>Kankuro the pupetteer stood before Tsurugu Misumi with a smile on his face. A very confident smile. The smile was oozing with confidence, it almost reached to cocky. It really pissed Miisumi off, but tried to calm himself down. Kankuro took off the sack ,which was rapped in bandages, on the ground. "Kankuro vs. Tsurugu Misumi. Begin." In an instant, Misumi was right behind Kankuro and his arms flew around Kankuro's body and held him tight. "Piss me off, and I'll break your neck." "Oh, I won't do nothing." Suddenly Kankuro's nose grew. "...is that your nose?"<br>"...yeah?"  
>"Does it grow the more you lie?"<br>"...No?" the nose grew longer and wider.  
>"That's so wrong. Oh well, I'll break your neck!" Suddenly his head turned 180 degrees and stared at him with wide eyes. They were so wide you wouldn't find his eye pupils. "You think so, huh?" Misumi flinched, but tried to remain calm. "Yeah. You're just a big cat-wannabe with a nose like Pinocchio. Like Pinocchio fucked a cat, and you were <em>the<em> _ugliest_. You came out, but should have stayed in there." Suddenly all of Kankuro's bodyparts was spinning wildly and his face expression couldn't stay still. Misumi freaked and let go. He ran, crying, with his long, jelly like arms and legs. Suddenly the bag was moving and before you knew it, the _real_ Kankuro stepped up out of it. "Piece of cake." he said and walked with his pride high. Up on the tribune his little brother, Gaara, asked: "Are you really what that idiot said about you?" Kankuro 'pfft' and said: "NO, of course not!" That nose grew across the room.

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><p>Yamanaka Ino simply couldn't fight. She was still fainting after the crazy-Kankuro incident.<p>

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><p>Kankuro's older sister, Temari, was checking her enourmos, white fan. It was so big it reached to her breast. Tenten was just standing infront of her, patiently waiting. The battle had already started, and you could almost hear snoring from the crowd. Temari sighed and opened her fan. Shetook her fan backwards and swinged it out, causing a big wind. Tenten was almost lifted off the ground. She pulled out some scrolls and made signs. She jumped up and made the scrollsgo up in spirals. Tenten barely touched the scrools and the most dangerous, sharp weapons came out, flying towards Temari. It was like an entire war army was shooting! "No!" Tenten yelled and covered her eyes. She couldn't bear this emberassement. What happened, you say? A certain pair panties was stuck on one of the swords. That paricular sword landed right before Temari's feet. Temari laughed and picked the panties up and started to atretch it. "My my Tenten. Doing naughty stuff lately?" Tenten blushed furiously and stuttered: "None of your business!" Tenten pulled something. It was threads, attached to the weapons she threw! She pulled them up, and controlled them like puppets. She shot them at Temari again and again, but Temari dogded them like a piece of cake. She jumped up and flew on her fan. Temari flew towards Tenten, trying to avoid the wapons to get closer to the opponent. When she was close enough, she jumped from the fan, grabbed the fan and used it to slam Tenten to the ground. Temari smirked in satisfaction, but since the scrlls were no longer working, they they became a mess and dragged Temari in it. Before you knew it, both the girls were tangled in the scrolls. It would've been a draw if Temari wasn't so quick to get loose.<p>

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><p>Meanwhile, in a dark room which was somewhere else in the building, Kakashi sensei was preparing the jutsu for Sasuke; so they seal on Sasuke's neck would be sealed, keeping it calm. Kakashi were soon done with the preparations and Sasuke sat on the floor, in the middle of the seals that was written in blood." Kakashi?" "Yes?" "Am I going to be okay? Will this hurt?" A short, wondering silence filled the air. "Probably and yes." Kakshi made some hand seals and touched the curse mark on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke screamed of pain as the seals, written in blood, crawled on the floor to the Sasuke's shoulder and sorrounded the teen's curse mark. When it was done, Kakashi sighed and could not recognize his student behave this way. Suddenly a cruel, mocking laughter was heard. A dark, cold chakra stood out. Sweating from nervousness, he looked over his shoulder and there he was. Orochimaru, the snake king. Suddenly, the jounin felt something and looked down. He blushed and put his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his erection. Like ha had said earlier, Orochimaru was quite flirtatious. "Kakashi, what a surprise. A gratifying one, at that." "...what do you want, Oro..oro..oro...you know what I mean!" Orochimaru chuckled and stepped so close to Kakshi there noses were just centimeters between each other. "Actually, no. Would you mind explain to me?" Kakshi din't dare to say a word. He grabbed Sasuke, swung him over his shoulder and ran like hell. "You'll never get him! NOOOOOOO!" Orochimaru laughed evilly. "I will find you, no matter where you go!" A dark laughter was heard before the sorce of the voice silenced, and the owner left, without leaving a trace.<p>

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><p>AN: HI guys! Hope you like this one! I know, I know, not the all of the preliminary matches, but I really wanted to publish this, and it got bigger than the last one, so I held my promise.


	12. the preliminary matches part 2

Nara Shikamaru was sighing. This was all a drag, too troublesome. Why did he have to go through this? And a girl, of all people?

"Ready to fight?" Tsuchi Kin said and got in a fighting pose. 'Hell no!' Shikamru wanted to say, but held back. "I can't say I am. I don't want to fight. Especially girls." Kin just snorted. "Nara Shikamaru vs. Tsuchi Kin. Begin." How was Shikamaru going to pull this off? He didn't like fighting alone. In the back he could hear his comrades cheering for him. So annoying. Suddenly Kin pulled out needles and shot it towards him. He dogded them easily. Suddenly more came towards his way. He dogded them again, but heard a strange sound. Was it bells? He looked after it. There were bells on two needles. He screamed. He checked the injury after the needle that got stuck in the arm. He smirked. "I see. You made some needles with bells, so I would pay attention to them, not on the needles without bells, right?" "You talk too much!" Kin said and kept throwing needles with bells. Maybe, Shikamaru thought, but atleast he didn't look a dalmatian who had rolled in the dirt in the middle. Suddenly his head was ringing. He held his head in pain. He looked behind himself. The bells! They rang! He looked towards and his eyes widened. He saw Kin holding threads which was connected to the bell. Suddenly he saw seven, eight, no, a dozen dobblegangers of Kin! A strange thought came to him, something he had never thought before. What if all those dobblegangers took their top off? That was disturbing. Kin took up three needles and was ready to fire. Now was his chance! He made the hand signs and went for it. Kin couldn't move. Shikamaru smirked and stood up. "Kage mane no jutsu; sucess." Kin was under his control. "How in the world?" she said and tried to get out of the jutsu. "My shadow tecnique can make me control other persons just combining the shadows. Now, what to do with you?"  
>"I swear, if you don't untie me, I'll scream!"<br>"What? That's -" Suddenly she screamed. She screamed louder than a police car. Shikamaru had to cover his ears to block the sound. Kin got free and ran to Shikamaru. She pierced him with so many needles he looked like an old hedgehog. He fell and bled a river. His comrades screamed in horror and tears. Kin just brushed herself off and went past Shikamaru. Suddenly she heard footsteps. She got stabbed. He fell on the ground, her back sorrounded of holes. Shikamaru smirked in triumph before he passed out.

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><p>Naruto POV:<p>

Yeah! Finally my turn! I was going to show everyone what I got. I was facing Kiba. You know, the dog person. Man, he was annoying! Always screaming, being so full of himself and acting like he was the king of the world. Where did he get it from? For some weird reason, he reminded me of someone. Weird. He was letting his dog, Akamaru, down. What was going on? "Hey, that's unfair! Why is that puppy here? This is between you and me!" "You idiot! I'm not fighting without Akamaru!" The dog barked. This couldn't be right! I looked at the proctor. "Hey, proctor! Is this legal?" The proctor coughed. He really didn't look good." A dog is in the same line as tools like scrolls, weapons and equipment, so yes, this is legal." Hah. Wish someone could fight with me... I tried to man up. "Well, no biggie. You can use fifty dogs, and I would still win!"  
>"You sure sound confident! I bet this fight will hit you down a notch."<br>"Go, Naruto! You can do it!" Sakura screamed from the grandstand. It felt good that Sakura-chan was cheering for me. Sakura-chan (sigh) she was nice and still are. Some coughing from the proctor caught my attention. "The 7th match. Uzumaki Naruto vs. Inuzuka Kiba. Begin." the proctor,Gekkou Hayate, said. I ran forward and charged. Kiba also ran forward. We wrestled hard. Akamaru jumped on my back and scratched my back. Too bad for the pup it made me smile. His claws wasn't sharp enough. "Hey, what's with that smile on your face?" Kiba said, unsure. That only made me smile more."What can I say? I like a good backscratch. Hey, Akamaru? Try harder, will you?" Why shouldn't he? It felt good and the claws weren't very shap. I pounced and pinned Kiba to the ground. Suddenly Akamaru bit me in the neck! I growled and let go of Kiba to throw Akamaru away, but suddenly Kiba used that opp..opp..opportinity to kick me off! That was a hard kick! I was back on my feet. Akamaru went to his owner and jumped on Kiba. Kiba made the hand seals and said :"Gijū Ninpō: Jūjin Bunshin!" Akamaru 'poofed' and then a second Kiba appeared. He looked like Kiba going nuts! They both ran towards me like animals! "Jūjin Taijutsu Ōgi: Gatsūga !" Kiba called and suddenly they flew around the room like hurricanes! And they came at me! I began to run, but they caught up with me! It felt like I was hit everywhere and there was nowhere to turn! I couldn't see a thing! When I finally landed on the ground, it felt so hard just to get up! I made the handseals. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" We charged forward and attacked with all we got, but it was no use! Kiba and Akamaru just split up and attacked like animals without mercy! I was lucky they didn't catch my throat! Suddenly I had an idea, I made some more shadow clones and attacked, and expected the next to happen: They destroyed my shadow clones. Then they came towards me. I tried to hold back my smirk. One of the Kiba's attacked me. I 'poofed' just like the others. I could hear they were surprised. "Where did he go? !" Kiba said. I opened my eyes and almost jumped of joy. I was a fleece on one of the Kiba's! I was hanging on on they grey jacket Kiba wore for the most of the time. They began to sniff. Then I realised something: It wouldn't matter which size I was in, as long they could smell me! "There he is!" I turned around and there was one of the Kiba's! He stretched out for me, but I dogded, and ran in the jacket. This Kiba simply wouldn't stand still! This one kept turning arond and I could swear human hands were trying to grab me! I became more stressed, and tried to get deeper in the clothes. I got so frustrated and suddenly I farted! Can you believe that! "AAAAAARGH!" Yes, in your face! I came out of the jacket, made even more shadow clones and beat them all out! Sucess!  
>NORMAL POV:<p>

Naruto went proudly up to his friends while Hinata went down to the arena whre Kiba was taken away. "Kiba, I have some ointment for you. You can use it if you want." Hinata said, shy. "Thanks, Hinata, but I don't need it. You should take more care of your self. And before it's too late, don't fight-"  
>"Next up is Hyuga Hinata vs. Hyuga Neji!"<br>"Damn!"


	13. the preliminary matches part 3

Hinata was shaking, trembling, but tried her hardest not to. She didn't want to show any weakness in front of her cousin. She was going to prove to everyone that she had changed. Neji was just standing there, saying nothing. "Hyuga Neji vs. Hyuga Hinata. Begin." "Hinata, you should quit right away. You will only injure yourself. Everyone knows I'm stronger than you, and will win this fight. Give up, Hinata, before it's too late." Hinata was looking away. "I..I can't. I will fight until the end, I think." Neji sighed. "If that's what you wish." Neji activated his byakugan and concentrated his chakra to his hands and started to hit her.

NARUTO POV:  
>I was watching this fight and hoped Hinata would wasn't like I knew her well or anything, and she was a little weird and shy, but I liked her way better than the other guy. At least in appearance. The other guy...Neji! Yes! Neji's hair looked like as if someone had shaved off the horse's tail and glued it on his head. Hinata didn't look so bad. She just said she would fight until the end. That's unlike her. Not that I knew her much, but still... Oh damn! He just started to hit her! No one hit ladies! They both have chakra on their hands and just hit and hit and...hit? No kunais? No shurikens? "Errr, Kakashi, why do they fight like that? Are they fighting at all?"<br>"I'd like to answer that, but Gai is an better expert when it comes to the Hyuga clan, since he's training Neji." Kakashi said, and turned his face to Gai. Wow, Bruce Lee-wannabe! He looked just like one! Except the green suit, the orange legwarmers and...something else. Just something. "Gai?"  
>"Yes, my eternal rival? What can the master of youth help you with?" Master of youth? I noticed Kakashi hesitated before talking. I could never blame him. "Could you tell Naruto why Neji and Hinata are fighting like that?"<br>"Of course!" Gai came running and swang out his arm to land it on my left shoulder, hitting Kakashi out in the arena! He landed in between the two ninjas! They were fighting as if he wasn't there! Kakashi couldn't get anyway! Then they started to keep fighting as they ran under him, beside him, on him, all over him like hyper squirrels! Kakashi stood there paralyzed! Didn't move an inch! Even when Neji and Hinata fought more over there, Kakashi still stood there! Hayate went over to him, grabbed a hammer out of nowhere, and hit Kakashi on the head! And again! and again and again and again and...again? What the heck! "Damn, he's not passing out!" Aaaaaaaah. That's why. Finally Kakashi went down. Sure, his head was bleeding and had some splinters, but oh well. Hayate bent down and dragged kakashi by the hair like a cartoon I saw once. A female neanderthal went to a male neanderthal and hit the guy with a hammer so she could bring him to her place for the night. I have no idea why, but she did in that cartoon. Anyway, Hayate dragged Kakashi like that. Hinata and Neji fought as if nothing had ever happened. Suddenly Hinata coughed blood! "You see, Naruto," Gai began "The Hyuga clan have their own way to fight. Lee, my student, fight with fists and kicks, a shallow Tai Jutsu. The Hyuga clan, however, fight to destroy each others chakra network, a more deeper Tai Jutsu." "Okay...more simpler, please?" Kiba came over and said: "Lee's fighting: kissing. Neji's fighting: the birds and the bees. Hard." Now I got it! Yeah! Go Neji! Do her!...wait...did that come out right or wrong? Oh. The fight stopped and the guy...Neji! Yeah, he won. At least the girl fought hard. Suddenly a redhaired boy, er, Gaara made a hand seal and sand closed in on him! He was gone! And then he was there on the arena! How in the world did he do that? "Let me fight. I'm tired of waiting." he said coldly and determined. As hoped, the screen showed 'Gaara'. Apperantly he was going to fight a guy named Rock Lee. Lee jumped down on the arena. He looked like Gai, just younger! It was almost scary! They stood before eachother. "Hello. My name is Lee and with the fire or youth, I shall defeat you." Lee introduced himself. Gaara didn't nod of approval or bat an eye. Just stood there. I remembered I've seen him when his siblings, Kankuro and Temari met Sakura, Konohamru and his friends (before the exam). It's a little weird Gaara, Temari and Kankuro doesn't look the same even though they're siblings, Temari being blonde, Kankuro being brunette and Gaara being readhead...I didn't get it at all back then. Still don't. "Gaara vs. Rock Lee. Begin." Hayate said. It was on.

Gaara remove the cap from his jar and sand flew out of it. It flew around Gaara as if it was his shield. Kankuro went up to me and said: "Hi, I like your fighting style and I like ya." Huh? What was that about? "Well, You creep me out and I don't like you!" I have no idea what he thought after that, but according to his face apression, it sure wasn't positive. Gaara's sand came soaring towards Rock Lee. Lee jumped up to avoid the sand, but the sand followed him and circled around him. Lee fought his way out, but it wasn't easy, because the sand wouldn't let him go! Lee landed down on the ground and shot out many kunais with paper bombs to make a way for him to Gaara, but the sand recovered too fast and sorrounded him. Lee took out his kunais and used them as swords to cut through the sand that grew taller than him and attacked. It was so exciting to watch! Lee just kept on fighting and fighting without giving up, like me! Go Lee! Suddenly a pile of sand hit Lee and sent him to a wall! That was freaking loud! "He's just playing with him." Kankuro said. "Huh? Who's playing with who?" "Gaara. He's just playing with the green guy." Lee walked towards Gaara and said confidently:"You have to do better than that!" Wow, that was... hero-like. "What, you have a plan or something?" Something beamed in Lee and he answered: "I have an idea! I've got an idea so good that my head would explode if I even knew what I was talking albout!"...What? "What was that?" Gaara asked with raised...eyebrows. "I caught it from Family Guy or something."  
>"Family Guy? Isn't it off the air? and not ninja-like?"<br>"I guess." Lee shrugged it off and attacked Gaara. You should've seen Lee! He was running and fighting like a hero! A super hero! It looked like Lee had no fears, nothing but bravery! Gaara was just standing there, letting the sand fight for him. Back then, at that moment, I thought he was a coward and not a real ninja. A creepy one, too. If I could travel back time, I would do so, and hit him in the head. "Don't you ever think of him like that! You hear me! That's your future friend, Gaara! The future Kazekage!" I would say! Too bad I didn't knew that then. Oh, well. Lee jumped on the hands statue. It looked like he was planning something. "Lee! Drop'em!" Lee looked surprised and doubting. "But sensei, you said it was only for emergencies!" "These are one of those, Lee! Drop them! Let them see your stuff!" Lee almost cried. "Hai, Gai sensei!" Lee said, and dropped them.

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><p>A:N= Hi guys! About the Family Guy-thing. I just remembered that line and thought it would fit fine right there. I have made some updating because spell-errors and such.<p> 


	14. The end of the second part

Previously:

"Lee! Drop'em!" Lee looked surprised and doubting. "But sensei, you said it was only for emergencies!" "These are one of those, Lee! Drop them! Let them see your stuff!" Lee almost cried. "Hai, Gai sensei!" Lee said, and dropped them.

Lee bent forward and went for the orange legwarmers. He unwrapped them and pulled out...Whoah! That was weights! They were as long as his arms or something! "Much better!" Lee said, relieved. "I can move so much more now!" Lee dropped them. I heard someone snicker, saying it wasn't a big deal and such. Suddenly we heard large, large crashes! Lee's weights! It made big holes! Lee flew! You heard me! He **flew**! It was super quick! He flew like The Road Runner from Looney tunes! He was coming towards Gaara so much faster! Gaara's sand could barely keep up! Lee managed to punch him! Gaara got hit in the left cheek and flew a few meters! What are the odds? Lee caught up to him and throwed him up in the air! Lee jumped after him and throwed him around in the room like he owned the air! It was so fast I barely could see the movement, but I surely could hear the noise! Then I finally saw Lee! He kicked Gaara to the roof! On the way Lee flinched, surely because of some pain Gaara gave him. Before you knew it, Lee had spun Gaara in bandages and grabbed him! "Taijutsu: Hidden Lotus!" They spun their way donwards to the ground and a large crash was heard! I thought I was going to lose my hearing! "GAARA!" I heard. Was it Kankuro? The fog cleared and on the ground, there was Gaara, looking beat up and helpless. Lee won! Yay! He won!...wait! Who was laughing? Lee stopped in his track with wide eyes and looked frightened. He looked back and screamed! Gaara collapsed, melted in sand! The hair, the arms, everything melted to sand! It looked like an empty shell! How in the world did Gaara make that happen? Suddenly a large "PUFF" was heard on behind Lee. There Gaara stood tall, bent forward with cracks on his body and a dangerous, sickened-evil smile on his face! He looked like the devil of the sand! He made the handsigns and sand flew towards Lee! Lee tried to get away, but the sand caught one arm and leg! "Sand coffin!" Was heard and suppenly Lee screamed! Gaara had broke Lee's arm and leg! They were completely smashed! The sand was going to to take whole Lee! I almost couldn't watch! " THAT'S ENOUGH!" The sand was hit away by Gai sensei! He stood right infront of Gaara and the sand to protect Lee! The eyes of Gai...they were so serous. It was way more serious than when Iruka sensei used to spank me for teasing his butt! Gaara stepped back, and mumbled:" Konoha will fall. Just wait and see." Suddenly Lee stood up even though he still seemed unconcious! "Lee.." Gai almost cried and hugged Lee, but Lee slipped out of Gai sensei's grip and fell to the ground. "Lee!" Gai bent down and held Lee's head up. Medics came and took Lee away. I sniffed, tried not to cry. "Kakashi, why would Lee go so far?" "...to make his sensei proud."

After some tears and cleaning ups, we were ready to go to the next battle. It was Akimichi Chouji vs. Dosu Kinuta. "Akimichi Chouji vs. Dosu Kinuta. Begin." In the back of Chouji, he could hear some one cheering for him! "You're going down, pal! NInpou: Baika no justu!" His stomach and back and chest suddenly became round like a ball! All the other parts went in the ball and chakra got released out of them. Chouji started to roll like a ball! He went after Dosu with speed unlike any others. By that, I mean, not very fast. Dosu dogded him like nothing! "Is that all you can do, fatty!" Oh no. no no no no nononononoNO! You never say that to Chouji! Chouji started to bump around like a tennis ball! He actually hit Dosu a few times. "I have feelings, you know!" Chouji said, angry! Poor Chouji. Chouji jumped really high and came down towards Dosu in a really, really fast speed! Dosu took out a kunai and stabbed Chouji with it! The kunai broke! I gasped! I never knew Chouji was so thick in the skin! Chouji started to roll, pushing Dosu to the wall! Dosu tried to push back, but couldn't get a grip! He got closer to the wall! His skull would be crushed! "Get off me!" Chouji didn't obey. " Get. Of. MEEE!" Dosu yelled and gave a push. Suddenly everything stopped. Chouji started to burp...and fart. He farted and burped more and more! He burped and farted so much and so powerfull he went flying around the room! Everyone took cover! Even the Anbu black obs! And they were like the police! When Chouji seemed to lose the fuel, he was heading straight for the hokage! Chouji couldn't stop and the hokage was too scared to move! The got closer! closer, closer, closer, clos- Oh my god! Chouji kissed the third Hokage! And burped at the same time! A burp-kiss! Everyone knew they would die if they laughed, but no one cared! Including me! We laughed as Chouji ran from the chasing, and laughing, Anbu black obs.

Later, the winners of the matches, me one of them, stood before the hokage (snicker) and the other proctors and all. "Congratulations on winning the matches. You are all ready to the third part of the Chuunin exam. I feel I must warn you all: even thogh you win, it doesn't mean you'll become Chuunin. In the end it doesn't matter if you lose or win, but how you fight. How's the fighting skills? The speed? The chakra? Are you Chuunin material? THAT'S what I'm looking for. To know who's going to fight who, you'll pick out numbers and we'll set up the fights according to the numbers." I got number 1 and Neji got number 2, so I'll fight Neji. This blows. That Gaara picked 3, Kankuro got 5, Aburame Shino 6, Temari 7, Dosu Kinuta got number 8 and Nara Shikamaru got number nine. Since Shikamaru couldn't fight on a person who got number 10, he would fight one extra fight. I guess Sasuke got 4. The hokage said the third part is in the next month! How in the world am I going to become stronger by then?

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><p>AN= Hi. I'm sorry, but I had to update this chapter several times because of spellings, misunderstood facts and so on. Sorry!


	15. The month

Hi! This is just a chapter with all the best moments before the third part of the Chuunin exam.

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><p>Sasuke POV:<p>

I silently opened my eyes to find out I was in the hospital. I remembered why I was there. Just not how long I've been there. I were in a room where you're supposed to share it with others. Thankfully there was no one there. I never had any fears for sick people or something. I just wanted some peace and quiet. I felt a little dizzy, but other than that, fine. Suddenly, I heard voices! They were coming this way! Shit! I dressed up and left the window. On the way out, my shoe caught on to something, making me trip and face my head in disgusting mud. Nice. I got up and jumped away from the hospital like a grasshopper. I knew I had to train for the third part of the Chuunin exam. I knew Kakashi-sensei had to train me, but where was he? God, I wish I had byakugan. I tried to think like Kakashi-sensei. I stopped on a rooftop and thought this:

Kakashi reads porn: needs privacy  
>Kakashi is a workaholic: somewhere no one would go, to have privacy<br>Kakashi didn't get any: somewhere dry.

conclusion: Kakashi-sensei was at a place where it's dry and he's alone. Then I thought that behind the hokage mountain it was a quite dry landscape or something. Maybe he was there! I jumped like crazy! I saw him climb up a cliff! With...Naruto on the back! And Naruto was eating ramen! Kakashi was climbing with one arm! And...I seriously needed to stop being Captain Obvious. Suddenly an evil idea crossed my mind. I smiled about it.I think I still am. I got to the top of the cliff and decided to bend forward to tease them, but suddenly the rocks under me couldn't hold me! I fell! "Sasuke!" I heard some one yell! Kakashi-sensei and Naruto was in my sight! Yes! I could hold on to them and-...why was I falling past them? !

When I woke up, I was in Kakashi's arms and the sun was hitting my eyes like a boxer. Ugh, come on! "Sasuke? are you alright?"...no." No, I don't think so." I managed to stand up and free myself from Kakashi's warm embrace. "What're you doing here, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. " I was looking for Kakashi-sensei to ask him to train me for the Chuunin exam."  
>"No fair, Sasuke! I was doing the same ting." Then Naruto gave a blank face. "Why did you jump, by the way?" How was I going to answer this one?<br>"I was just standing there and the ground under me broke. Nothing else."  
>"You're lying!" Naruto said and pointed at me, accusingly.<br>"How can you say I'm lying?"  
>"Because, if it wasn't anything else, you would've left the 'nothing else'- part away. You didn't, however, so that gives me the subtal message that you're either lying to me or hiding something. What is it?"<br>"Yes, Sasuke. Why are you lying to Naruto?"  
>"I'm not-...fine. I was standing there because I wanted to make a prank on you guys. I fell, ACCIDENTLY, and that's the story." Things went quiet. "Guys?" Before you knew it, I got tied up to a rock and didn't get released after a while while they were training. "Sasuke, why are you tied up?" A dark, frightning voice spoke. It gave me the chills! I looked to my left. Gaara! Why, of all places..." What're you doing here, Gaara?" Gaara looked to the owner of the voice, Kakashi. "I came to talk to Sasuke. Why is he tied up?" You could see by the way his mask was forming, it was a dangerous smirk. Crap. "Sasuke has a very dirty mind." he almost purred. Gaara looked at me questionly. Then walked closer to me. I tried to look cool, acting like this was the most normal thing in the world. Then he started to sniff me! What the heck! He sniffed my hair, face, clothes...everything! I had to look away! It was too embaressing. "I'm a half Raccoon, if you wondered." By then, Gaara's family were a totally mystery to me. "How about going somewhere I can sniff you more?" Gaara asked sugetsively and looked me straight in the eyes. Crap. "Very tempting," I said, sarcastic" But I can't because I'm...I'm...I'm married! That's it!" Every one looked at me funny. Not Gaara, unfortunately. "So?" Gaara lifted my chin up and-" HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, PERVERT!" A man in red clothes with hair as long as his body and as white as snow, came soaring through and kicked Gaara away. Gaara fell a few inches away, but attacked again. The man smirked and tossed...cookies? "COOKIES!" Gaara said excited and ate them with greed. The man grabbed a fist with cookies and threw them away, and Gaara followed. The man went over to me and released me." Thanks." I muttered. "Who are you?" The man stepped back and posed like an adventurer and said, proudly:" I'm the man you should fear! The man you should know! The man who'll strike fear in the most hard-skinned warriors! The man every woman falls shamelessly for! I am the man and-" "Give up, Jiraya! He's never heard off you!" Kakashi said, annoyed. So true. "Hey!," Jiraya objected," Maybe he has!" He walked over to me and whispered: "You have heard off me,right?" I snorted. "5 bucks and I do." Jiraya grinned and said proudly, again: "Told ya! He knows me!" Naruto went over to him and looked at him suspiciously: "You don't look strong to me." "Follow me and I'll show you I'm stronger than mr. Wolfhair over there." Naruto shrugged and followed. Finally they left!..."Hey! You owe me 5 bucks!"<p>

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><p>Naruto POV:<p>

"Come on, Ero-sennin! You promised you'd show me your strength!"  
>"In a minute, kid! I'm busy with important research!" Ero-sennin hushed me. Research? He was peeking at girls in a river, taking a bath! "This isn't a research, you perv!" Then Jiraya gave me a stare creepier than Sasuke's glare! "You'll pay for that!" He grabbed my jacket and throwed me in the water! I heard yelling and before I knew it, furious girls with red faces chased me with shaking fist and with speed that beat Rock Lee! They beat me up real bad! My nose was bleading! Of the beating or the sights i was granted...not sure :). I think they even scratched me! They didn't leave me alone! I tried to run, but they were faster!<p>

I was quite sore afterwards and the perv got all the girls! So unfair!" Hey, girls? Wanna see a trick?" The ladies squiled and seemed eager. Ero- sennin took his arms away from one of the girl's waist and showed it forward with an open hand. Suddenly a strong mass of blue chakra came from nowhere( as it looked like) and formed to be a blue ball! It made a lot of noise and it looked strong! He ran towards me! He was too fast, so I shielded myself, but he jumped over me and kept running! He hit a giant rock and it totally cracked into pieces! He stood there with the hair flying in the wind. Stupid Jiraya and his good looks. Stupid Jirayas and his coolness. Well, I could be as cool as he was. I mean it!  
>I stood up and went to him. "That was cool and all, but I know of a move that'll make you so jealous your face will be green!" Then something unexpected happened. "Aww, so cute!," a brunette sighed and looked at me dreamily. "Absoulutely!" one redhead said and went to me and started to take her hand through my hair! Sweet!" Really?" I said innocently while blinking my eyes. "Of course!" One of the girls said and before you knew it, I had all the ladies and we played games while Ero-sennin had to fight a ferociously Gaara. He didn't have any cookies left! HAHA!<p>

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><p>Sasuke POV:<p>

I have learned a tecnique that I hope will help me win against Gaara. I can't use it more than two times or something. If I took it further than that, then Kakashi said it wouldn't happen. It just wouldn't. Why did it have to be limits? I had to be able to kill HIM as fast as possible! He was still out there! I shook my head, tried to think of something else. I knew such thinking just made me feel worse about myself, but I couldn't deny it, you know. I seriously had to admit it was the most attractive thoughts in my life, before I settled down with my sweetheart. Anyways, on my home, I met Ino, the blond. You know what really frustrated me about her? We have the exact same grade from the academy! Can you believe that? Neither could I! "Hi, Sasuke-kun!" "Hi, Ino." Ino blushed and fickled with her hair. "Ummm, Sasuke, if you're avaible, would you like to have a lunch with me?" No. Absoulutely not. Before I got to answer that, however, I got grabbed by a stranger in black clothing! He...or she held me over he or- IT's shoulder and ran! It ran over rooftops like a madman! I freaked out! Wouldn't you be too? "What the heck? Put me down, you...!" I scream and tried to get free, but it was no use. "Can't do that, mrs. Tojiro!"... what? "What're you talking about?" "Mr. Tojiro, your husband, has asked me to rescue you from Konoha and get you in safety before the end of this month." My husband's last name is- NO! I did not thing that! I didn't! "I DON'T WANT TO BE RESCUED!" "Hold it right there!" Jounins! They could help me! What happened then? He ran away with me! Now, imagine me and the man running in the village from jounins in a super fast speed while playing fast jazz or fast, light voices singing nonsence. "Let go, damnit! I don't even like the guy!"  
>"None of my consern."<br>"Yes, it is. If you don't release me this instant, I'm going to smother you and kill you make it look like wild animals did it!"  
>"None of my consern."<br>"Yes!"  
>"None of my consern."<br>"Leave or you'll die here!"  
>"None of my consern."<br>"Why do you you even bother?"  
>"Mr. Tojiro will kill m-"<br>"None of my consern."  
>"...Yes, it is."<br>"None of my consern."  
>"This doesn't make any sen-"<br>"None of my consern." Before you knew it, the jounins safed me and chased the guy away. "What happened, Uchiha?" One of the jounin asked. I just looked at him and said: "It's Mrs.-...None of your consern." I just said and jumped away.

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><p>AN: facts= Ino and Sasuke has the same grade from the academy. It is true that Sasuke is way more skilled than Ino, but since Sasuke's skills in teamwork is low, it drags him down to Ino's level.  
>Orochimaru's last name is Tojiro. I found out after a bit of research here and there.<br>HIM is not God, but Itachi. If you don't know who that is, you should watch the show first.  
>Other than that...pure bull. I think. Ask if you wonder.<p> 


	16. The third part could begin!

Naruto POV:

This was the day! The day of all days! This was the third part of the Chuunin exam and I couldn't wait!...no, that's a lie, sorry. I mean (sigh) I was excited and all, but I was going to fight Neji Hyuga and he was the greatest genin last year, and I've been known to be the worst genin this year! It's like a mile of distance between us. I knew it was like that, back then, but I tried to put it aside and think positive. Maybe Neji had slacked off. Maybe he wasn't going to show up. Maybe...I know! Maybe I had something that Neji didn't have! Something I could use! Yeah! But...what would that be? It couldn't be the looks. That can't help ya. Well, at least I was waaaaay better to surprise some one than any one! I was a good prankster, too!...But how was that going to help me win? Did I even have a chance? I was having these thoughts while walking the streets to the arena. Now when I think about it, I think people in the street was cheering me on, but I was too buried in my own thoughts to notice.  
>The arena was on the other side of the village, so I walked through a forest where I met Hinata! She was standing in a battleground with a blue, chinese jacket and black shorts. "Hi, Hinata!" I called. She jumped and hit her head on a standing log before hiding herself behind it. "Hi, Naruto-kun. H-h-ow are you?" Hinata asked shyly with blushing cheeks and a nice smile. "Just fine, thanks!" I answered with my usual grin. Hinata didn't buy it. My grin faded and I showed my real face: insecur. "Can I beat Neji?" I didn't look at her, even though I knew it was impolite. I think. "Yes, you can." "But he's so much stronger than me! He's a Hyuga member! I'm just-" "An Uzumaki member?" Hinata guessed. My head got lower before nodding. I heard Hinata sigh. "It doesn't matter which clan you belong to. You don't have to belong to the Inuzuka clan if you have a dog. You don't belonh to the Hyuga clan if you have the byakugan or strength or a good mind. You don't even belong to the Haruno clan if you're smart. Neji is Neji, nothing else. You are you, nothing else. On that view, I think, you're both equally strong ." Hinata said, still standing behind the standing log. "I...I guys, I think, from that view, you're right." I regained some of my courage and continued on my the way , I said goodbye to her and how I misjugded her. She was atually awesome, not some pale snale. (sigh) If only I had known before that she was so much more.<br>On my way, down the street, I met Konohamaru, the hokage's grandson. "Hey, Naruto! Guess what? I know of a shortcut to the arena!" "Really? Where is it?" Konohamaru grinned and said, confidently:"Just follow me!" I followed him in a dark corner. We came to an area were the grass was tall, met me at the waist. Konohamaru opened an oval, little door. "Just follow this tunnel and you'll be there in notime." "Thanks buddy!" I said and jumped. This was like a slide! It went really fast! Suddenly it went even faster and more downwards. I started to fall! Then it suddenly went up and I hit a wall! It really hurt! It was a note on the wall. It said:

Hi  
>If you're reading this, whoever you are<br>I'm not done making this tunnel  
>So if you wanna get out<br>Start digging!  
>- Konohamaru!<p>

"Damnit, Konohamaru!" I cursed and started to dig. I felt like Bugs Bunny digging around in the world. I bet I was going to end up in a wrong place to a wrong time! Finally I saw lights! I dug and dug!

Normal POV:

The proctor stood on the arena with the participanst, except Naruto and Sasuke. The proctor looked around, but dind't see the boys. Suddenly, the ground cracked! The proctor fell and his butt met something hard! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!" he fell to the side and had to cling to his butt. The hard thing turned out to be Naruto! "Owwww! What the heck was that?" Naruto saw the man and freaked out so much he dug down again. The proctor had to get to the hospital because his tail bone broke The third part could began.

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><p>AN: Hi! Sorry fort the short thing, but I had to give you guys something before I left with my family for five days or something in London. See ya!


	17. uhuh

The chuunin exam 17

Naruto POV:

I dug up again from the hole and watched the the others go away except me and Neji. Wait!...where was Sasuke? Shouldn't he be here? "Hey, Neji! Do you have any idea where Sasuke is?" Neji just shrugged and said:" Not today, no." This was really bad! If he didn't show up, he would be disqualified! How was I going to prove myself to him then?  
>Out of nowhere, came a jounin who took the role as proctor. He looked at me, then at Neji. Then at me again." Becuase of technical... difficulties, I'm the proctor's substitooooooooooooote. Are you both ready-" "Wait! Where's Sasuke?" I yelled. The new proctor shrugged. "He hasn't shown up. If he doesn't show up when it's hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis turn, he's disquaaaaaaaaalified!" Shit! No! I made a shadow clone and made him look after Sasuke. You better not fail, shadow clone, I thought. "Hyuga Ne...Ne... Brunette-guy vs. Uzu...Uzu (hiccup)...just fight!" We didn't fight right away though! I didn't think the 'substitooooooooooooote' was allright, and now I'm sure he was drunk. Before you knew it, I was pulling Nej by the hair and swung him around and round and round and round 'til he hit the wall! I won- ow! Cut it out! Fine! Thanks to my sweetheart, I'll tell what reaaally happened. I made a couple of shadow gangers and attacked with fists of steel. Neji dogded them og stepped to the side as if the fists were merely flies! Like he already knew they were coming! I knew that. He had the byakugan, but I still had to try, you know. The byakugan could see 360 degrees, no blindspots. What I needed to do then was to come up with something clever, something to smart him out! Unfortunately, I wasn't that clever. Because of my stupidity, I came up with a bad idea, which back then, i thought was a good idea. I made a handsign and made some shadow clones clones to catch Neji's attention. As if on que, they dropped their pants right in front of Neji! "We're gonna Neji you!" the said in unison! Neji had a nosebleed that could fill a bathtub and the same thing with the audience! Those who didn't bleed, however, they laughed themselfes to unconsciousness. I was arrested for tempted murder. Come on!<p>

Sasuke POV:

(nosebleed)...uhuh.

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><p>AN: review please :)


	18. he's gay right?

Normal POV:

It was time for Uchiha Sasuke and Gaara to fight. Only one problem, though; Sasuke wasn't present. Where could he be?, were many of people's thought. They were very impatient, some were shouting, some was grumbling, some even shouted 'Where the heck is that Uchiha kid!' Even the kages had the same topic. "Where the heck is the Uchiha? I'm afraid Gaara have to win on walkover." the hokage said, sighing. "Not yet, hokage-sama." the kazekage said. "Very important people have gathered here, even feudal lords, just to see Uchiha Sasuke fight. A big part of this countries pride lies with the Uchiha name, after all. Him, not showing up, would mean bad reputation. I say we take other matches first and wait for Uchiha's return." The Kazekage suggested. The hokage went along with it, just to make his 'friend' shut up. Therefor, Kankuro vs. Aburame Shino was next. Kankuro turned pale and got nervous. What if he got insects in...private places? It was worse enough the time when Gaara had glued his behind in an anthill. He shuddered of the memory. He reached up his hand and said: "Ummmm, sorry, proctor, but I withdraw! I have no wish to fight Shino!". "whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!", the proctor whined. "I just don't want to y'know. " "Why? Is heeeeeee (snicker) ghay?" "Hell no! I mean, no. I just don't want to." Silence. "He's gay right? Is that right?"  
>"NO, I just don't want to fight him!"<br>"He's gay!"  
>"NO!"<br>"He's short!"  
>"No!"<br>"He's white!"  
>"NO!"<br>"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e's supercallifragilisticexpiali docious, even though the sound of it is something quite attrocious, if you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious, supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious!"  
>"...no..."<br>"COME ON EVERYBODY, SING WITH MEH! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE'S SUPER-" That's all he managed to say before he was taken away by men i white jackets. Now it was Temari vs. Nara Shikamaru. The lazy brain vs. the big fan.


	19. NO, I DON'T

Chuunin exam 18

"Aw man, this is gonna be a drag. And a woman, of all sex." "Excuse me?" Temari said, after entering the battlefield, with a dry, annoying voice. "What's so wrong about women?" "Honestly it'll take less minutes to say what's not wrong about your sex." Alot of boo's were heard and groceries and cups with drinks were thrown towards him. Temari snickered and said, confidently: "You may not know that my morals are below surface, in the core (touched the crotch), but above the surface( touched the waist), above the sun and moon (grabbed the left and right boop), is the level of my skills! ( pointed at the head)" The boo's ended and cheering tok over. "You go, girl!" was one of them. Shikamaru shooed it off and and got his kunais ready. He ran straight towards her. ' What is he? stupid?' Temari tought. She grabbed her enourmous fan and swung it with great force, yet it looked like she put little effort in it. Shikamaru continued walking while leaning most of his bodyweight against the wind. When the wind stopped , he ran towards her until she swung her fan again. Then he walked while leaning his bodyweight on the wind again and so on. From what Shikamaru understood, Temari was a long- rage fighter, and was very close to the fan. That's why he needed to get close to her, so he could have her in close combat, something that would hive him the advantage. True, he much preferred long-range attacks too, but if he had to meet her on close combat ,so be it. Besides, he knew that the closer he went to the source (not her crotch), the less force the wind could muster, like a horsekick or a ball falling. It was all about the distance. On his third try, she closed the fan, ran towards him, skipped to the side while turning, lifted up the fan and hit it down. Shikamaru nearly dogded in time, stood up and heat her face with a right hook. Temari didn't dogde it in time, but grabbed his rist. He smirked. He had a chance. He concetrated chackra on his left hook and hit it forward her face. She dodged that one too, but couldn't dogde the kick that hit her stumack. He grabbed her head and broke her nose with his knee on the other leg. Then he pushed her away to give her some space. He couldn't win over her now. Not this soon. "You little...!" Temari growled while protecting her bleeding nose. She straightened out her fan and took off into the air! To actually fly into the sky, alongside the clouds...now he envied her for flew around him in circles and he turned around no stop so she wouldn't meet his back. He couldn't trap her in his shadow control, since she was moving, and since she could control the fan and had much space in the air, she could quickly avoid the attack. Suddenly, she plunged down at me! I jumped away from her! Just in time! Now! "Kagemane no jutsu!" Just like that; she was in my spell. I manipulated her fan and wacked her with it! HA HA! Serves her right! I whacked her about...seven-eight times? Oh well. Who's counting? It wasn't easy though. She kept running and running around like a bunny on caffeine. It was really fast and... disturbing, if she actually ran exactly like a bunny. She closed in on me and whacked her again, but she took the fan in her hands and dragged it away from my hands. Now she was the one whacking me with it. Shouldn't I have kept her still, you might ask? True. I would, but I laughed so much of the whacking I lost concentration, and the shadows got away without my notice. She kept whacking me with her darn fan! I liked it a moment ago! I throwed a kunai at her. As expected, he dogded it with her fan. Then, a 'boom' went! The fog from the explosion blew away, and a big, burnt hole was seen in the fan. "Nooo! What have you done, you damn jerk!" " I knew you would dogde it with your fan, so I glued a paper bomb on it. Clever, huh?" Temari glared at him with intense, hatefull eyes. "You douche!" She shrieked. She grabbed her fan and uset it as a sword against him. He dogded the blows, but she was fast even dough the fan was heavy. Finally she hit him. Shikamaru screamed in pain as two of his ribs broke. He fell to his knees on the ground. Temari went ove to him and lifted up his chin with her fan and smirked confident. Shikamaru gritted his teeth. He spat on her feet. Temari growled and hit him harder with the fan. the ground cracked and Shikamaru gasped and spat blood. Temari lifted up her fan, ready to hit him again. But suddenly, she froze. She could not move! "Kageman no Jutsu...Sucess!" Shikamaru muttered. He made her go a few steps back and throw away her fan. "I would like to kick your butt some more but I've had enough of you. Also, I have two broken ribs, an irritating mood and no will to proceed. Therefore, I give up. You win." Shikamaru said, panting. He tried to rise up, but found taht to hard to proceed. Temari sighed and lifted him up. She started to carry him bride-style, despite Shikamaru's attempts to get away from her. "Stop it! I'm trying to help you!" "I don't want help!" "Yes you do!"  
>"No,I don't"<br>"Yes, you do!"  
>"No, I don't!"<br>"Yes, you do!"  
>"No, I don't!"<br>"YES, YOU DO!"  
>"NO, I DON'T!"<br>"YES, YOU DO!"  
>"NO, I DON'T!"<br>"NO, YOU DON'T!"  
>"YES, I DO AND THAT'S FINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!" Temari smirked and shrugged. "As you wish!" "Yeah, that's right! In your f-...what?" Everyone laughed at him. Not the Kazekage, however. He was lost in thought of a certain Uchiha. 'Uchiha Sasuke...where are you?"<p>

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><p>AN: That's all I have for now. Yay! I wanted to do a little bugs bunny-ish incident. Review please :)


	20. To his end

People were impatiently waiting for the Uchiha heir to arrive. Every one was getting annoyed and tired of waiting. The feudal lords had come so far for just this fight only, and what did they get? Where was Uchiha Sasuke? As if it was an answer from above, a large mass of green leafes began to dance after one another in the sky. They spun around and round 'til they hit the ground. They left and two individuals appeared. A tall one and a small one. "Are we too late, Kakashi-sensei?" The small one asked. "Not too late, I'm sure." Kakashi answered, to calm down the boy. Gaara, from the sand, appeared on the battlefield in front of Sasuke. "Ready to lose, Uchiha?" Sasuke snorted and made himself ready. "You're the one that's going to lose ,Gaara!" An akward silence filled the air. "...Sasuke...youcan honestly not come up with a better insult?"  
>"Shut up, twerp?"<br>"Twerp? That's old fashioned, right?"  
>"Shut up, you...you...whatevs. Just fight me!" Sasuke growled and put his hands up at chest level. Gaara made his sand fly and capture the Uchiha. he managed to escape, but was caught in the end, Without a word, he took off with sasuke. "Where are we going? Let me go!" "I'm taking you to your husband." No matter how much the Uchiha heir struggled, he was forced to live with his husband to his end. The village? Well...it went down, but up again later. Naruto was released after that and began many adventures. But that is another story.<p>

THE END.

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><p>AN: Hi! this is the last and final chaptah! I'd love to make it longer, but truth is; I'm out of ideas, and after Sasuke's fight, the chuunin exam kind off stop because orochimaru and such. Hope you enjoyed my story! I know, s*** a** ending, but as I said: I'm out off ideas. Besides, I have a new idea coming up...maybe, and it's for furry fans! Rated M only!


End file.
